Current:Home > InvestThis mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title. -InvestTomorrow
This mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title.
View
Date:2025-04-12 00:41:17
Are terms like "grandma" and "grandpa" a thing of the past? Some baby boomers apparently hope so.
Earlier this month, a woman went viral on TikTok for sharing a video about how her mother-in-law doesn't want to be called "grandma." Her suggestions instead? Mama paired with her last name − so Mama Smith, for example. This was quickly vetoed as her son and daughter-in-law pointed out this would likely end up shortened to mama, which did not sit well with the child's mom. The mother-in-law's next pick? "Queen mother."
"To be fair, I think she's watching 'Bridgerton,' so that may have played a role," the TikToker said in a video with 1.9 million views, adding her mother-in-law said it could be shortened to "queenie." She and her husband coaxed her mother-in-law out of "queenie" and got her to eventually agree to "G-ma."
The comments were flooded with users who lamented they've fielded similar requests from their parents and in-laws: "My father seriously wanted to be called 'your honor;' "My mom wanted mom-mom 'because I'm their mom's mom.' No. Hard no;" "My (mother-in-law) just wanted Mama. I have never laughed at someone so hard." And recent data also speaks to that trend.
In August, Preply surveyed 1,500 Americans across all 50 states and found, "The baby boomer generation is … opting for nicknames that resonate more with their vibrant spirit and sense of individuality."
The most-popular alternatives for grandma include nicknames like "Gigi," "Bibi" and "Momo;" while the most-popular grandpa alternatives include options like "G-pa" and "Grandude."
Boomers aren't the first generation to shake up traditional titles, but experts say their quest to reinvent what they're called as grandparents shows how many feel about aging and entering their golden years.
Why do people not want to be called 'grandma' or 'grandpa'?
Erik Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, speculates there could be multiple reasons why baby boomers are opting to forgo being called "grandma" and "grandpa," including a denial of getting older.
It's also possible that, instead of denying their age, they more so don't want to seem old-fashioned or see themselves in the same light as their own grandparents.
Also, in a culture that emphasizes embracing the authentic self, new grandparents may just want to feel unique.
"People end up acting in relatively predictable ways, even when they're trying to strive for individuality and uniqueness," Anderson says.
Sometimes there could be a more sinister motivation. A grandmother wanting to be called "mama," for instance, may want to usurp control of a grandchild from their mother by going by a similar title.
"People should have the freedom to be addressed by whatever they would like, but again, it has to be something too that's not duplicating what already exists or infringes on the parents," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. "It could be a power and control issue. (Or) it could just be not being aware of how that could impact the parent."
Furious at your parents for aging?You're not alone.
What if a grandparent wants to be called something outrageous?
So what should parents do if a grandparent wants to be called something truly outrageous? Anderson and Sarkis agree that, while it's generous to let a grandparent select their title, ultimately, the child's parents get final approval.
"The family with the young children gets to make those decisions, or at least has a little more leeway or rights than grandma or grandpa," Anderson says, adding that parents setting boundaries also sets a healthy example for their children.
How will you look when you're 80?A new TikTok filter predicts Gen Z's future wrinkles, and insecurities, in a viral trend
Sarkis says it's important to be firm, yet compassionate, toward grandparents who insist on an inappropriate title, while still explaining your reasons for rejecting their request.
"You just say, 'Hey, that name, well, we don't want to confuse the baby, so how about we come up with another name?' " Sarkis says. "People have the right to come up with a name that they find appropriate for them, but the parent also has the right to say that that's not OK with them."
If a grandparent does come up with a nickname that both they and the child's parents like, then it can be a good way of allowing the grandparent to feel empowered as they step into their new role as grandma − or g-ma or whatever they want to call it.
"That freedom of being able to choose what you want to be called, there's a lot of power in that," Sarkis says. "For some people, they just don't identify with certain names for grandparents, and that's OK."
Melissa Gilbert:'Little House on the Prairie' star on why she ditched Botox, embraced aging
veryGood! (32889)
Related
- Working Well: When holidays present rude customers, taking breaks and the high road preserve peace
- Are you leaving money on the table? How 1 in 4 couples is missing out on 401 (k) savings
- Mother files wrongful death lawsuit against now-closed Christian boarding school in Missouri
- Norma makes landfall near Mexico's Los Cabos resorts
- Apple iOS 18.2: What to know about top features, including Genmoji, AI updates
- Norma makes landfall near Mexico's Los Cabos resorts
- 'Harry Potter' is having a moment again. Here's why.
- US journalist denied release, faces lengthy sentence in Russia on foreign agent charges
- Costco membership growth 'robust,' even amid fee increase: What to know about earnings release
- JAY-Z weighs in on $500,000 in cash or lunch with JAY-Z debate: You've gotta take the money
Ranking
- Trump wants to turn the clock on daylight saving time
- Why is F1 second to none when it comes to inclusivity? Allow 'Mr. Diversity' to explain.
- CVS pulls certain cold medicines from shelves. Here's why
- Taylor Swift Wears Her Heart on Her Sleeve as She Cheers on Travis Kelce at Chiefs Game
- Person accused of accosting Rep. Nancy Mace at Capitol pleads not guilty to assault charge
- DeSantis PAC attack ad hits Nikki Haley on China, as 2024 presidential rivalry grows
- Scorpio Season Gift Guide: 11 Birthday Gifts The Water Sign Will Love
- Tesla says Justice Department is expanding investigations and issuing subpoenas for information
Recommendation
2025 'Doomsday Clock': This is how close we are to self
Pro-Palestinian activists occupy international court entry, demanding action against Israeli leader
What does 'fyi' mean in text? Here's the 411 on how to use it correctly.
Orbán blasts the European Union on the anniversary of Hungary’s 1956 anti-Soviet uprising
Nevada attorney general revives 2020 fake electors case
Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes Are the Real MVPs for Their Chiefs Game Handshake
'You want it to hurt': Dolphins hope explosive attack fizzling out vs. Eagles will spark growth
Evers administration allocates $402 million to combat PFAS, other water contaminants